Malevolence
by Zeea
Summary: Maria vanished ten months ago, and suddenly returns ... seeking revenge
1. Prologue

**Title**: Malevolence

**Author**: Zia

**Rating**: Mature/Adult – Some Sexual content, and some dark images

**Summary**: Maria vanished ten months ago, and suddenly returns... seeking revenge.

**Author's Note**: I've had this in my head for a while now, and finally just now have gotten around to really working on it. I've rewritten it so many times already, that finally I think I am happy with it so far!

**Prologue**

Michael Guerin was angry. He'd always been an angry person. But for the last ten months everything had gotten worse. He'd just been emancipated, and he thought things were going alright. He had a sort of girlfriend, who was kooky, and strange, but she believed in him. She trusted him, and she wasn't afraid of the fact that he was an alien. It could have been something. It could have been real. And then, just a few days after he moved into his new apartment, his phone was ringing just as the sun came up. Liz was hysterical. When he'd arrived at the Crashdown everyone else was already there, Max and Liz and Alex and Isabel, except for her. Except for Maria.

//Someone grabbed Maria." Max said.

"Grabbed?" Michael asked.

"The FBI it looks like."

"Why would they want Maria?" Alex shook his head. "She isn't one of you."

"It may have been a mistake. They may have grabbed the wrong one, or they are counting on us going in after her, and it's a trap." Max said as he tried to comfort Liz.

"But we're going after her, right?" Alex asked looking around.

"No." Max shook his head. "They'll let her go when they realize we aren't coming, or that she isn't who they wanted."

"You're not serious." Michael crossed his arms over his chest. They were just going to leave Maria there to deal with the FBI?

"How do you expect us to get in there?"

"We figure something out."

"Look Michael, I know how you feel, but we just can't risk it."//

But Max didn't know how Michael felt. He couldn't even begin to comprehend it. Max had a family, his whole life, he'd had friends, and people who believed in him. His girlfriend hadn't been taken by the FBI, when it should have been him. So Max decided for all of them, they weren't going after Maria. That they would let her go, it was just a matter of time. And that Isabel wasn't allowed to try and dreamwalk her, just in case.

And then the months went by. At first everyone was sad, and depressed, but after a few more months, people moved on, they began to live their lives again. Michael didn't. Maria was in his mind all the time. Max and Liz were the happily dating couple, despite Tess, another alien, having come into the picture, and having eyes on Max. Isabel was dating Alex, and they seemed to be happy.

Maria was missing, and they didn't care anymore. The FBI had her, and she was probably dead. They had probably killed her because she didn't tell them anything. Because, if she had told them anything they would all be in some government facility right now.

But she couldn't have. Maria DeLuca, the woman that never shuts up, never said a word.

So Michael was angry. She was dead, and it was his fault. Their fault. Because of what they were, they got her killed. Michael wanted to be able to hope she was alive, but if she was, they would probably be hurting her in ways he couldn't imagine. So part of him, truthfully wished she had died soon after they had taken her. That they hadn't put her through much torture.

His friends, that was a joke, they were friends by default. Because of their secret. So his 'friends' tried to encourage him to do something with his life. He was going to school, going to work, then going home. Simply just going through the motions. Because part of him had died when they took Maria. The part of him that held out any tiny bit of hope that he might be able to have a semi normal life one day. That he could fall in love, and be with that one person, and make that one person happy for the rest of his life.

And that was gone now. Just like her.

Michael slammed his fist against the wall and welcomed the pain that shot through his wrist. He'd broken his own hand so many times in the last ten months he couldn't even remember when he didn't feel the pain of it. But it distracted him, and made him focus all at the same time. His powers had been even more out of control than usual since she had been gone. She had been a focus for him. But now he had pain. So he welcomed every bit of physical pain he could get in favor of any sort of emotion.

Emotions. That was even funnier. He'd never really had them, at least, he convinced himself he didn't. Until the introduction of That Maria Girl into his life. In the dark alley, dressed as an alien, looking quite intimidated. Sometimes he could swear he could feel the warmth of her skin beneath his palm. Her intimidation of him didn't last long. They bickered, and flirted, and she sent off these vibes that made Michael feel.

And when things got to their worst for him, she was there, she had taken him in despite the fact that he was a jerk. Despite that he was mean, and rude, and he hurt her. She had taken him into her home, with open arms, and taken care of him.

And days later, she was gone. They had spent a good couple of hours on the couch, making out, with lots of heavy petting. Her hair had been sticking in every which direction as she tried to button her shirt back up, and Michael had just watched her. She was beautiful, even if she didn't know it. And he sure as hell wasn't going to say it, but she was. And then she had kissed him goodbye as she pulled on her shoes, and headed over to Liz's to stay the night. Michael had watched her as she walked out to her car, still trying to straighten herself out, and even as she drove away he watched until the red jetta was gone. He didn't realize that was the last time he would see her.

He didn't know. And if he could take it back, he would have held onto her. He would have made her stay with him, so that way, if they FBI had come, they would have gotten the one that deserved the pain.

Maria had to be dead. He couldn't handle it if she had to suffer through ten months of pain because of him.

---

Maria DeLuca had been to hell and back. Ten months of her life were gone. Wasted away. Spent being poked, and prodded and tested. She was human and they didn't care. Of course they hadn't wanted her in the first place. They had wanted Liz. Liz Parker. The one who had been shot back in September. The one that had been healed by an alien. Maria was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. They got her, and now she had to suffer. She was in pain.

She had never liked the doctor, or needles. She would kick and scream when she was a child and had to get her shots. They would have to hold her down, her mother, and at least two nurses while the doctor stuck a needle in her. The whole time she was screaming. When she was in the big white room, they strapped her down to the table. They poked her with needles, they took her blood and injected things into her, just to see what would happen.

Torture. Pure and simple that is what it was. They left bruises and cuts, and scars. She was covered in them now. Her arms, and her stomach. They liked to play with her. She was their expendable toy. See how much she can handle before she breaks. Before she cracks and gives everything up. Everyone of the aliens up, hands them to the FBI on a silver platter. But she didn't. She never did.

She'd scream, and she would cry. Beg them not to hurt her. But whenever they would tell her they would stop, if only she would give them the answers they wanted to hear, she would close her mouth. Bite down hard on her tongue, and prepare herself for what was next, because she knew it would be worse than anything before.

Maria wanted to die, that was the honest truth. They kept her in that white room for a long time. All white, when the lights were on it was blinding, she could barely see anything. But when the lights were off it was so dark she couldn't see in front of her. Finally she was moved to another room in the building. This one had a cot for a bed, and a small bathroom attached. A toilet, and a sink and a small shower head that had terrible water pressure.

Every morning Maria would find a new pair of white scrubs, and a towel sitting on the floor by the entrance to her cell. One morning Maria went into the bathroom, and was determined not to come out alive. She closed the door behind her, and turned on the water in the shower like she always did. The white scrubs were tossed in the sink and she stared at the small mirror. She stared at herself. She wasn't sure how long she'd been in there, it felt like years, but she really didn't know. The mirror was small and she cut up her fingers trying to rip it off the wall. Finally she held the glass in her hand, but no sharp edges.

Maria slammed it against the edge of the sink and it broke. Pieces splintered all over the sink, and on the floor, landing on her bare feet, when she moved them the glass dug into her toes and she whimpered quietly. She picked up the biggest piece and looked at it for a moment. It had a long sharp edge. Perfect. She quickly dragged it across her wrists, and instantly felt sick. She hated blood. She hated the site of it, almost as much as she hated needles.

The water in the shower was hot, and steam quickly filled the room. She dropped the glass and walked over to sit beneath the spray of the shower head, to let the blood go down the drain. So she could finally be warm, and that would be how she'd die. She lost consciousness before they realized what she had done. They came in, and cleaned her up, bandaged her wounds, and stuck her in her bed.

They didn't give her another mirror.

They told her if she tried a stunt like that again she would be sorry, but Maria wondered what more could they do to her? What could possibly be worse than what she was already going through. She was taken by the FBI, and her friends had made no attempt to get her out. But she kept trying to convince herself they would come. That they would save her. That she really wasn't expendable.

After seven months, at least that is what they told her, they showed Maria some videos. Surveillance videos of her friends. Max and Liz were joking, out on a date and having fun. Dancing. Happy. Maria felt sick to her stomach. They showed her another one, Alex, playing in his band and hanging out with his friends, with Isabel. And Amy DeLuca, her own mother. At the Crashdown, flirting with the Roswell Sheriff, like she didn't have a care in the world.

That was the day Maria DeLuca cracked. Her whole world came crumbling, tumbling down around her.

They didn't care. No one did.

And then they showed her the final video. Michael Guerin. He was standing in the kitchen at the Crashdown, hunched over the grill. And then him grabbing stuff from his locker, a picture of herself fluttered out. She watched in awe as he picked it up, and gently traced her face. He sighed and tucked it back into his locker. And the video ended.

Maybe someone did.


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter One**

Maria made her way up to the front door of the apartment slowly. She wasn't sure if Michael still lived here even. One of the curtains was open part way and she peeked inside. That same Metallica poster hung on the wall. That was the first thing he put up, she remembered it. Because he had taken twenty minutes to hang it, wanting it to be perfect. And she had just watched, and smiled. She had smiled. The thought of smiling hurt her now. She reached her hand up and rested it on the door softly. Her heart was pounding rapidly in her chest. She rested her cheek against the cool surface and clenched her eyes shut for a moment. So close. She was so close to him.

Closing her hand into a fist, she knocked on the door and waited. It was late in the evening, but not too late. She hoped he was home, he had to be home. And if he wasn't, she would wait. After a moment she heard shuffling on the other side of the door and then it yanked open. He simply stared at her. And she just stared back.

"Maria." His voice was the most beautiful thing she had heard in months.

"Michael." Her voice cracked and she reached towards him, her hands were shaking. He dragged her inside of the apartment and she was pinned to the door. Then his lips came crashing down on hers. His hands were everywhere at once, leaving trails of warmth wherever they touched. She trembled against him.

Their kisses were passionate, and full of the pain they had felt for all those months. Maria held onto him like a life line, and Michael touched her anywhere he could find bare skin. To prove she was real, she was alive. That it wasn't just a dream this time.

He carried her to his bedroom, the bed was a new addition since she'd last been there. She was sure almost everything would be a new addition to the apartment. He laid her back and the sheets and she welcomed the warmth of his body on top of hers. She was always so cold. She could never get warm anymore.

Michael never broke the kiss. He stroked his tongue against hers, tasting her mouth. And he could feel the pain, and fear and anger rolling off of her, but it wasn't directed at him, so he continued his explorations. Within seconds their clothes were gone, he didn't remember taking them off, but did remember the feel of her body beneath his. Bare skin on bare skin. She was cool, and he was warm.

They didn't speak. They didn't even look at each other as Michael entered her. Her fingers dug into his back and her legs were around his waist, curling herself up against him. His weight was rested on one arm while the other was wrapped around her waist, holding her tightly against him.

Their movements were rapid, along with their breathing which had become harsh gasping breaths. He felt her go rigid before she cried out, and he let himself go inside of her. But neither of them moved. They stayed there, plastered together, glued together by their own sweat.

Michael was the first one to pull back. He looked down at her, her eyes were shut, and her breathing was just now starting to return to normal. She looked tired. Her hair was longer now, and darker. He carefully rolled them onto their sides and finally her eyes fluttered open. They didn't say a word, she just buried her head in the crook of his neck and closed her eyes again. Michael pulled the blankets up over them and kept them tightly wrapped around her back.

--

Maria woke up in a cold sweat, gasping for breath. She looked at the naked man beside her and ran her hands over her face before climbing out of bed. She picked up his button down shirt from the floor and pulled it on before heading into the bathroom to splash some cool water on her face. When she entered the bedroom again he was still asleep, she watched him for a moment before going into the kitchen to get something to drink.

The cold water felt good going down her throat and she slowly slid down to the floor. She wanted to cry, but she couldn't. She didn't think she was able to anymore. She'd spent so much time crying over the last several months, she didn't think it was possible. She heard a movement and lifted her head, a second later, the disheveled man appeared in the entry way to the kitchen.

"What are you doing?" He asked sleepily, for the first time saying something other than her name.

"Needed something to drink." She told him softly.

"I thought it was dream." He said, as if he still wasn't sure that it was real, that she was actually there. That this was really happening.

"It's not a dream, I'm here." She pushed herself back up to her feet and crossed the distance between them and kissed him softly. "I'm here." She told him and felt his strong arms wrap around her and clutch her to his chest. "I'm here." She murmured again.

"Maria...?" Michael started and she shook her head quickly.

"Shh, not now." She told him. "Later, we'll talk later." She took his hand in hers and led him back to the bedroom and they laid down together, her back to him while he spooned her. She felt him bury his face in her hair and inhale deeply.

"I missed you." His voice sounded broken, she had never heard him sound like that before, and it scared her a little. How much had changed in the time she'd been gone? Maria reached up and clutched his hand tightly in her own smaller hand. .

"I missed you too." She murmured and felt him pull the blankets around them and within seconds she felt him relax behind her, but she was still wide awake. Sleep would not come easy, ever again.

Morning came too soon for Maria. She opened her eyes, there was a crack of light shinning in through the curtain, and onto the bed, across her face, and Michael's. Michael. She was in his arms. They were still wrapped around her tightly. Slowly she rolled over so that she was facing him and saw his eyes open, watching her. He reached up and pushed some hair back from her face, and ran his fingers down her back.

"Why didn't you ever come after me?" Maria finally asked, her voice just barely above a whisper.

Michael sighed. He knew that question would come up. And that she would be mad at him, and she would hate him, and she would probably leave him. "I wanted to." He told her. "I've argued with Max for the last... ten months about it. About you." He clenched his hand into a fist. That was one of the times he broke his hand.

"Maxwell was convinced you were fine, you'd be fine. They wouldn't hurt you. They just wanted us to come after you." Michael shook his head. "I knew it was a lie. I knew they were hurting you. That they didn't care if you were one of us or not, that ... they would hurt you because of what we are." He rolled onto his back and stared up at the ceiling. "How bad did they hurt you?" Maria didn't respond, she just looked at him. "That's what I thought." He sighed. He clenched his jaw, and felt the anger rising inside of him.

He knew that he should have done something, he had never really listened to Max before, and the most important thing in his life, and he just let it go, he let Max tell him what to do.

"I never told them anything." She said quietly and he nodded shortly.

"I know." He scoffed quietly. He knew she didn't, he knew she wouldn't. He could feel her breath on his chest, warm puffs of air. She was living, and breathing in his arms again. Naked skin pressed to his. As an after thought, he realized that after ten months, the first thing he did was kiss her, and touch her, and grope her. But their 'relationship' always had been so physical, it was no real surprise.

And he'd needed it, he'd needed to feel her, to know that she was alive. So he could kill himself with the thoughts of how much pain she had endured. "I want you to know..." He swallowed. The emotion thing, she was bringing it back. Part of him hated it, because he felt so much more pain when she was around. And most of it wasn't his own, it was for her. "I should have done something." He laughed, not a real laugh, a bitter, sardonic laugh.

"If you tried, they would have taken you too." Maria lifted her head up slightly to look at his hard features. He had changed so much in the last several months. But she still thought he was beautiful. Scruffy facial hair adorned his chin, his hair was longer, and shaggier. His features were harder.

"At least then you wouldn't have been alone." Maria nearly swallowed her tongue. He would have been willing to give himself up, for her. Stonewall Guerin, the man that never let anyone in, that cared solely for himself, would have sacrificed himself for her. Maria DeLuca, the ditsy blonde, who had only criticized everything about him. He actually cared. Someone truly cared about her. For the first time in months tears filled her eyes.

They trickled down her cheeks for a few seconds before a sob escaped. He glanced down at her, and then pulled her closer to him. His lips were pressed against her forehead, and he held her trembling form while she cried. His hands smoothed up and down her back, and through her hair. And she held onto him as tightly as she could. Her fingers dug into his skin as she tried to get closer to him.

After some time her sobs subsided and Michael looked down at her face. "We should call the others, and meet them someplace." Maria wasn't so sure she was ready for that though. All those months on her own, alone, by herself, to suddenly be thrust into a group of people, she wasn't ready.

"Yeah..."

"I'll call Max and tell them to meet me at the Crashdown."

"Okay." But neither of them moved. They continued to lay there in each others arms, neither quite ready to face the world yet again. It took a few more hours before they got up. "I'm going to shower." Maria told him quietly as she sat up slowly. She held the sheet against her chest and he watched her. His fingers danced down her bare back and she turned her head to look at him. "I'll be out in a few minutes."

Michael watched as she got up and walked into the bathroom, the door closing softly behind her. He just laid there, the water turned on, and he heard her close the curtain. He grabbed for his cell phone and dialed Max's number to set up a meeting, but didn't bother to tell him what it was about.

Maria came back out of the bathroom, her hair was wet and falling down around her shoulders, she had a towel wrapped around her, but it was too small for her frame, and barely covered the tops of her thighs. "Michael?" Maria's voice cut through the silence. "Do you..." She bit her lip. Ten months, did she expect him to? "Have any of my clothes? Maybe... still?" She shook her head. "Never mind, forget it, I'm sure you don't, could I just-" He wasn't paying any attention to her. He was digging around in his closet and she just sighed.

A second later he produced a small box and tossed it onto the bed, the lid fell off as it landed and Maria looked at the box. Inside were her clothes. "Oh." She whispered. He had kept them? She lifted her eyes to meet his and he simply nodded before leaving the bedroom.

Maria dug around in the box for several moments before finding a pair of jeans and tank top. Both were just a little too big now, she'd lost some weight while she was being held captive. She was wasting away. But she pushed that thought away and dressed quickly before following Michael into the living room, where she found her shoes.

"Everyone is going to be there?" Maria asked as she tied the laces of her running shoes.

Michael shrugged. "Most likely."

"Okay." She nodded and stood up and glanced around. Michael walked over to her and pulled her against his chest and she went willingly. "I don't know if I can do this."

"It's going to be fine. I'll be there. Everything is going to be fine." He tried to reassure her. She nodded, but she didn't believe him, she wasn't even sure if he believed himself.

They walked outside and Maria was a little surprised to find that he had a dirt bike. He handed her the helmet wordlessly and she tugged it over her head before climbing on behind him. Her arms were around his waist and he started the bike and too soon for Maria's taste they were at the Crashdown. She removed the helmet from her head and smoothed her hair back down. The jeep was already in the parking lot, and Maria dragged in a deep breath.

Michael's hand was on the small of her back, resting against the small patch of bare skin between the top of her jeans and the bottom of her shirt. An encouraging hand, steady, comforting. He guided her through the front door, and was greeted with everyone sitting there waiting. Alex was sitting at the counter, Isabel was beside him sipping a soda, Max and Liz were snuggled together in a booth, and Tess was sitting in a separate booth.

Alex was the first person to look up as the bell over the door went off. "Maria!"

That got everyone else's attention. Before Maria knew what was happening Alex's arms were around her, and her feet were no longer touching the ground. She felt like she couldn't breathe. Then Liz joined in on the hug and Maria couldn't contain the sob. She went weak in their arms and the trio sunk to the floor, a mess of limbs and tears. But Maria's tears were for a different reason than theirs. Theirs were tears of relief. Their friend was home. Maria's were because all she wanted to do was crawl back into Michael's arms and hide.

Max stood and walked over to Michael as he watched the scene before him. "What happened?"

"She showed up at my place last night."

"Are you sure it's her?" Max asked and Michael felt the anger welling up inside of him.

"It is her." He ground out.

Finally Maria managed to pull herself from Alex and Liz's grasp and wrapped her arms around herself. No one was really sure what to say, they were all in shock. Except for Tess. She had heard about Maria, but had come months after she had disappeared.

"So you're Maria?" Maria looked up quickly and then at Michael.

"That's Tess. She's... like us."

"Oh..."

"How did you get out?" Tess asked and Maria just shook her head.

"They..." She swallowed hard and clenched her eyes shut. "They were transferring me to another building...and they didn't sedate me. I took my chances and I ran."

"Where was it at? I mean, a military base? Someplace else?"

"Honestly, I have no idea." Maria shook her head. She wasn't ready for the questions. "I just ran. I got to a road, and I walked. I managed to hitch a few rides until I got back to Roswell."

Liz closed in on Maria again and cupped her face and looked at her. "Are you okay?" She asked and Maria nearly slapped her. She'd just spent ten months with the FBI, yeah, she was just fine and dandy. Couldn't be better. She pulled back from Liz, and didn't pay attention to the wounded expression on her friends face.

"Fine." She muttered and tried to duck behind Michael's arm.

"What did they do to you in there?" Max asked and Maria shot him a glare.

"Whatever they wanted."

"They hurt you?" Isabel asked.

"What do you think?" She held her head in her hands and took a breath. "You're giving me a headache." She lifted her head up and looked directly at Liz, her best friend since childhood. "They took me... they wanted you. Then they realized they made a mistake." She glanced at Max. "But they didn't care. First they said... they said they'd just kill me." She swallowed hard and felt Michael stiffen beside her. "But then they decided why kill me when they could test me."

"But you're human."

"Ding, ding, ding, we have a winner." Maria shot Max a dirty look for his comment. "They didn't care. They just wanted someone to poke at. They messed with me, did all kinds of things that they could think of."

"We thought they would let you go." Max tried to tell her. "They wouldn't hurt you, because you're human."

"Well, you were wrong Max!" Maria exploded. "They did hurt me! More than you'll ever know!" She glanced down at the scars on her arms. "Didn't you realize, that after a month! Two!? Three?! They weren't just going to let me go?!"

Her friends stared at her in shock, and she didn't care. She was mad. Livid. Angry at them, at the FBI. Topolsky. Everyone. She went missing for ten months and no one tried to help her. Isabel could go into peoples dreams, but she never came to her. Max was their 'leader' he always took charge, and yet, she wasn't important enough to save.

"Thanks a lot you guys." Maria said before turning and storming out of the diner. Michael shook his head and followed her quickly.

"Maria." He called jogging to catch up with her and she stopped.

"I need to be alone Michael. It's too much, I'm just... I need to just be alone." She looked up at him and rested her hand against his chest for a moment.

"Okay." He told her and dug his hand into his pocket and pulled out his cell phone and thrust it into her hand. "Take it. I have to work till late tonight. If you need anything, or if anything happens." He pulled her close and kissed the top of her head and Maria closed her eyes and relished in that moment. "Just be careful."

"I will." She told him and then pulled back, casting a last glance at him she walked down the sidewalk, with every step getting more and more angry at her friends. She walked until she found herself at her old home. The Jetta wasn't in the driveway, but instead it was some dark red van. Her brow furrowed. She walked up and knocked on the door. The normal alien plant holder that was on the front step was gone. The door opened and Maria looked up and saw a woman standing there.

"Can I help you?"

"Um... I was... looking for Amy DeLuca." Maria was really confused now.

"Oh, DeLuca, yeah, we bought the house from her, about four months ago. She and the Sheriff got engaged."

Maria opened her mouth and then closed it again. This couldn't be happening. "Thanks." She said and then turned and headed in the direction of Jim Valenti's house. As she reached the house she saw the Sheriff coming out the front door, Amy DeLuca close behind him. He turned and kissed her before walking down to his SUV.

She stood hidden behind a tree as she watched the scene before her. Kyle walked out of the house and headed for his car and Amy waved to him before closing the door. This wasn't happening. It couldn't be happening. She moved on. Everyone had. No one was the same, and neither was she. Michael had changed, he was harder now, more cold. She had done so much with him, he had opened up to her. But, he still had when she came to him. But his presence with other people, it was worse than before.

And her own mother. The woman she loved and wanted to keep safe, had simply moved on. Gotten a new husband, and a new kid. She couldn't believe it. How could it be true? How could her own mother, the woman who had raised her... just forget about her? Maria shook her head and walked away from the Valenti house and angrily ran her fingers through her hair. Why her? Why did this have to happen? Her mother had to have thought she'd run away. Did she ever look for her? Ask her friends? And what had her 'friends' told her mother? She pulled Michael's phone out of her pocket and stared down at it.

She took a breath and dialed the number she never thought she would. The number she hadn't ever wanted to dial. But now, part of her did. She wanted to do it. Revenge. Paybacks. They deserved to suffer like she had.

The phone rang once. "Yes?" The woman's voice made Maria shiver. That woman terrified her.

"Tonight. You'll have an alien in your possession." She hung up the phone and walked again, lost in her own head. Thinking of what she had been through. And what she was willingly putting someone else through.

After a while Maria finally made her way back to the Crashdown, but this time slipped in through the back door. Michael was standing in the kitchen hunched over the grill. "Michael." She said softly as she walked over to him.

"Maria." He glanced at her, and she saw something in his eyes that confused her.

"Are you mad at me?" She asked quietly.

"No, not you, never you. Me. Max, Isabel, Tess." He told her flipping a burger.

"Why?" Her brow furrowed.

"What we are, are the reason you had to suffer. All that pain should have been mine, ours. Not yours." Maria walked into the kitchen and took the metal spatula from his hand and set it on the grill before holding his hand in her own.

"You've had enough pain for twenty lifetimes." She told him softly, and he looked at her.

"So have you." Maria nodded a little and kissed his knuckles.

"Stop breaking your hand." She whispered feeling the out of place bumps. Michael slid his fingers into her hair and pulled her close to kiss her softly.

"Why don't you go home, get some rest."

"When do you get off work?"

'Late, after ten."

"Okay." Maria nodded and then left the Crashdown.

Once back at Michael's apartment, she saw a black duffel back outside his door, and she knew that was for her. She took it inside and looked inside, a cell phone, some clothes, and a few various other things, including the keys to the car parked in front of the apartment. Now she just had to wait. She had to wait until the perfect time to call Max and set up a meeting, just the two of them.

It was after eight when Maria finally picked up her cell phone and dialed Max's number. "Max? I really need to talk to you, could you meet me somewhere?" Maria asked, her voice was shaking, she was trying to sound scared. To convince him that he had no other choice but to meet up with her.

"Maria? What is it? What's wrong?"

"Please, Max, I can't do this over the phone. Can you meet me out at the quarry in twenty minutes?"

"Of course, I'll see you then." Maria hung up the phone and tightened her jacket around herself. She was so cold. The wind had picked up and she climbed back into her car to wait. She looked down at her cell phone again and dialed Topolsky again.

"Well?"

"The quarry, be here in half an hour." She hung up the phone and tossed it onto the passenger seat and tapped her hands anxiously against the steering wheel.

Twenty-two minutes later the familiar jeep pulled up beside the black jetta. "Hey." Max said as he jumped out of the jeep and Maria climbed out of her car. "What's wrong? What did you need to talk about in secret?"

"This is your own fault you know." Maria said looking at him.

"What?" He asked confused.

"Saving Liz, that was your first big mistake."

"Maria." Max said taken aback.

"Your second was ... letting me sit in there, waiting. And waiting. Months... Max, ten months I was in there, and you never came. You are the one that told them not to come. That they would just let me go when they realized the aliens weren't coming to my rescue. Do you realize what I went through?! They ran tests! They messed with me! They didn't care if I was human!" Maria yanked her sleeve up and showed him the scars in the crease of her elbow. "They did everything they could think of to make me crack. To get me to confess everything. And I didn't! I never said a word! Seven months I was in there, and I just knew you guys were coming up with a plan to save me. Do you want to know what the final straw was?" Maria asked. "They showed me these videos... surveillance. Yeah, you're being watched. These videos... you and Liz, happy, and laughing. Not planning to save Maria. Isabel and Alex, joking around, Alex going to band practice. My own mother! Flirting with the Sheriff. She's engaged now. The only person that cared, that ever cared was Michael. He's the only one."

"Maria, what are you talking about?" Max was nervous. Maria was glad. A van pulled up and Max held his hand up towards it. Then a second later he realized Maria was pointing a gun at his head.

"I'm talking about what I had to do to keep someone I love safe." Three men climbed out and advanced on Max. "Something that none of you would bother to do for me."


	3. Chapter 3

** b center Chapter Two /center /b **

Maria was curled on up the couch when Michael came home. She had the TV on, but he was pretty sure she wasn't paying any attention to it. She seemed to be someplace else. "Hey." He said walking over and sitting down on the coffee table in front of her.

"Hi."

"You get any sleep?" Maria shook her head.

"No, I get nightmares." She told him. Michael nodded and climbed onto the couch behind her and wrapped his arms securely around her waist. He held her against his chest and she reached up to shut off the TV. The apartment was flooded in darkness, and Maria suddenly felt safer. She liked the dark, even when she was in the FBI complex. When it was dark they left her alone. She wondered if they would do the same for Max.

Hours passed and they hadn't moved. They were just listening to each other breathing. Content to be in that moment. To be in each others arms, to be needed. He reached up and gently wrapped his hand around one of her wrists. "When?" He asked referring to the slash down the length of her arm.

"Five months ago." She told him softly.

"How bad was it?"

"Pretty bad."

"Tell me what happened."

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because you don't need to know." Maria told him and gripped his hand tightly in her own.

"Yes, I do."

"Why? Nothing will change. You can't take it back and neither can I. So tell me how it will make anything better."

"At least then I will know what hell you went through because of me."

"It won't change anything." Maria whispered.

"But I need to know." Michael insisted, and then heard her sigh. She knew she was fighting a loosing battle.

"Liz and I had been up all night," she began. "Doing the girly thing. Talking and stuff. It was about four in the morning, we were hungry and I volunteered to run downstairs and grab the last of the Men in Blackberry pie. I went down and heard a noise, and got all freaked out. Then there was someone there. I dropped the pie. I screamed. Then something covered my mouth... I woke up with one hell of a headache.

// Maria woke up slowly, her head was throbbing, where was she? The room was dark, poorly lit, she couldn't see anything.

"I see you're awake." A voice came from nowhere, but everywhere at the same time.

"Who are you!?" She cried out.

"Someone you should be very afraid of."

"What do you want from me?" She asked, keeping her voice steady.

"To test you, poke, and prod, see what Max Evan's did to you."

And with that she started laughing. Maria couldn't help herself. She was caught up in this really scary situation, and they didn't even want her.

"What is so funny Ms. Parker."

"You're so freaking stupid. Did you even do any research? I'm not Liz Parker."

"What?" The voice sounded angry, and the light came on, and Maria flinched and stumbled backwards. "Who are you?"

"Someone that just always gets caught up in the middle. I'm just the friend." Maria sat down on the floor and glanced around the room. She knew they were watching her, she just wondered from where. "So what do you plan to do with me now?" She asked raising an eyebrow.

"I suppose we'll just have to trade, her for you."

Maria laughed harder than before. "You're kidding right? They don't give a shit about me."

"Then I suppose we'll just have to kill you." Maria froze for a moment and then shook her head.

"What?!" She asked in a panic. "You can't do that."

"Why not? You are of no use to us."

"Ms. DeLuca." Maria lifted her head, she recognized that voice. Why? "I think we may have a use for you after all."//

"It was Topolsky. The next morning... they woke me up, strapped me down. And then they had needles, all these syringes, some filled with stuff, some to take my blood. Sometimes I would pass out, sometimes I wouldn't. They would cut at me, and... torture me." She felt Michael's arms tighten around her waist and clutch to her.

"You are safe now." He told her and kissed her shoulder softly. "You're safe."

Hours later Maria had fallen asleep in Michael's arms, finally, and then his cell phone rang. He reached for it quickly trying not to disturb Maria. "Yeah?"

"Max is gone." Isabel's voice was high and frantic.

"What?"

"He stood Liz up, and never came home."

"Isabel, calm down, he's fine, I'm sure. He's just being Max."

"No, Michael, you don't understand, I think... I think they took him."

"No, Isabel, they didn't. If they had wanted to they could have come for him before, and they didn't. No one came after him, he's probably just out planning something romantic for Liz." He didn't wait for a response and hung up his phone.

"Who was that?" Maria asked still half asleep.

"Isabel."

"What did she want?"

"Max isn't home yet, says he stood up Liz. She thinks the FBI has him."

Maria swallowed. "What do you think?"

"Max is just being Max."

It was late the next evening, Maria was sitting on the end of the slide at the park. She was waiting.

"Maria?" Isabel's voice filled the silence. "What are you doing here? Have you seen Alex? He was supposed to meet me here."

"No... haven't seen him." Maria whispered. "Why didn't you ever dream walk me?"

"Maria... Max said it wasn't safe. That... I don't know. He said it wasn't safe. I'm sorry."

"You're sorry? Isabel... I was being tested on, for seven months. I tried to kill myself. They wouldn't let me die. I wanted to die." She looked down at her wrists. "I'm sorry too Isabel. That it had to end this way."

"What?" Isabel asked confused. "Maria? What are you-" She cut herself off when she saw the gun in Maria's hand. "Where did you get that?"

"Seven months in hell... Three months spent training to be an FBI agent. I never planned to actually go along with it. I convinced myself, I'd just pretend... and then when I got out, I'd tell you guys, and you could all run. But... none of you cared. You all just moved on. Had you dream walked me... You would have known just how bad things were. But... now you get to find out the hard way."

Isabel suddenly screamed when someone grabbed onto her. A hand clamped over her mouth and she was dragged away.

Maria tucked the gun back into the back of her jeans and looked up as an agent appeared.

"She wants the other one."

"What? No, that wasn't part of the deal." Maria shook her head quickly.

"Deal changed." The man told her.

Maria left quickly and pulled out her cellphone. "You can't just change the deal!" She yelled into the phone.

"Oh, but I did." She could hear the smirk in Topolsky's voice. "You have two choices. Bring him in... or we come after him, and kill you." The line went dead and Maria felt the fear in the pit of her stomach. What had she done?

She ran the whole way back to Michael's apartment and found him pacing the living room. "Where were you? I was worried. I came home from work and you were gone."

Maria began to sob and sunk down to her knees. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry!"

"Maria?"

"We have to go, we have to hide! We have to go and get Tess, and go someplace, and we have to hide."

"Maria... what the hell are you talking about?"

"Please!" Maria cried and Michael obeyed.

"Okay." The two got on his bike and drove to Tess' where they got into her suv and drove out to the pod chamber.

"Now you need to tell me what is going on Maria." Michael said, trying to remain calm.

"The FBI has Max... and Isabel."

"What?!" Tess shrieked.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Maria cried softly.

"You're a freaking psycho! This is your fault isn't it!?" Tess yelled at her.

"It is... I was mad... you all left me in there! They didn't care!" She looked up at Michael. "I'm so sorry Michael, please..." He was just staring at her, arms crossed over his chest.

"You betrayed us." He told her.

"I have an idea... about how to get them out."

"Why should we trust you? It could just be a trick." Michael snarled.

"Because I love you." Maria told him. "I can get you in there... and you'll have to take it from there, find them, and get them out."

"What happens to you then? You betrayed us." Tess crossed her arms over her chest.

"They won't know you guys were even there, until you're all out. And when they realize what I've done. They'll have no use for me any longer."

"No use?" Michael glanced at her.

"They'll kill me." Her jaw trembled. "Tess, if the two of you can follow me, and you use your mindwarp I can get you in. I can find out where they are and get you to them. I'll take care of everything while you guys get out."

"How can we guarantee that you won't just leave us in there?" Tess asked.

"You'll have to go against your gut instincts right now, and trust me."

Maria DeLuca stared down at the piece of paper in front of her. She signed her name and stuck it in an envelope and scribbled Michael's name across it. She tucked it under the pillow on his bed and took a breath. This was actually happening. This was the end. She glanced around the room and then left quietly before Michael and Tess returned. She wished she could do it all over again, change things. Do something different. But this was the only thing she could do. She could make it right.

Maria pulled the jetta up at the front entrance to the complex. Tess and Michael were in the backseat, hidden by Tess' mindwarp. They had a van parked not far from the complex.

"What is your purpose?" The armed man asked from his post.

"Topolsky. I've brought the remaining ... subject."

"Where?" The man asked looking into the car.

"Trunk." Maria told him annoyed. "Now open the gate." He did so obediently and she drove into the parking lot. She parked the car and took a breath. "You guys ready?" She asked softly before climbing out. She opened the back door, and pretended to be grabbing something from it. Giving Michael and Tess the chance to get out before closing it again.

At the front entrance she pressed her hand against the pad there and waited as it scanned her prints before the door unlocked.

"Agent DeLuca." She glanced up at the man behind the desk.

"Jackson." She nodded.

"Good to see you back again." She gave him a small smile. He was a younger guy, and had obviously had a crush on her.

"It's good to be back. I... was wondering if you could do me a little favor?" She leaned against the counter.

"Anything."

Maria smiled. "I was... wondering, where did they take them?"

"You mean..." He trailed off.

"Yeah." Maria leaned farther over the counter. "Please?"

"DeLuca... you know I'm not supposed to."

"I know... but... I just want to see... You know the hell I went through, and it was their fault. I just want to see what kind of hell they are in." She reached over and lightly touched his hand. "Please?" She felt a hand grab her arm and she slowly glanced in that direction. No one was there. Michael.

"DeLuca... you're going to get me into so much trouble."

"But I'm worth it." She grinned, and he laughed. Michael's grip on her arm tightened.

"Yeah, I think you are. Down the corridor. Take a left at the end of the hall, it's on the right hand side."

"Thank you Jackson." She smiled and turned to head down the hallway. "Grab me like that again and you'll be sorry." She hissed under her breath.

"Apparently being in here wasn't too bad, was it?" Michael's voice was by her ear, and it was angry. "You found someone to keep you entertained."

Tears stung Maria's eyes. Michael had no idea. "You really want the answer to that?" She whispered and turned down the hallway. She pressed her hand against another pad and the door opened. There were two rooms, side by side, both with a one way window. In one was Max, and Isabel in the other.

Maria paused and looked at the window. Slowly she reached her hand up and touched the glass. The pain of all the nights in that room came flooding back. "There is an emergency exit at the end of this hall. Get them out. And run like hell."

"DeLuca." Maria jerked her head up and saw Topolsky standing near the doorway. "Where is he?"

"Trunk of my car. I hit him over the head... pretty hard. He'll be unconscious for a while."

"So how does it feel? Your revenge?"

"Like I never imagined." Maria said softly and pulled out her gun and pointed it at Topolsky. "Now give me the key to their rooms."

"What?" The woman shook her head. "Oh, did you have a change of heart? After what you went through?"

"No, not at all. Now give me the key." Topolsky just laughed.

"I don't think so." Maria fired the gun and the bullet went straight into Topolsky's chest. In Tess' surprise she lost the mindwarp. Both Michael and Tess stared at Maria in shock, as she walked over to Topolsky's twitching body. Maria yanked the key from her pocket and went to the door. She opened first Max's then Isabel's door.

"Get them out now!" Maria yelled and the two sprang into action. Michael rushed into Max's room and helped him to his feet. Tess did the same for Isabel. She watched as Isabel and Tess ran as quickly as they could down the hall. Maria shoved the key into Michael's hand as he passed her. "You need this to get out. Now run!" She yelled and Max and Michael rushed down the hallway.

Michael had Max's arm around his shoulder helping him to the door. He glanced over his shoulder and saw Maria standing at the end of the hallway. Suddenly alarms were going off. Several men came down a hallway and spotted the four aliens escaping, and he watched as Maria raised her arm, gun in hand and began shooting.

Three men fell, and a fourth turned to her. Michael watched the man fire. Maria didn't move for a second before stumbling backwards. The light shirt she was wearing had a rapidly growing red stain on the chest.

"Michael come on!" Tess screamed as she tried to open the door.

Michael watched for a moment longer, watched as Maria fell backwards to the ground. "Maria." He whispered before rushing to the door with Max. He used the key and shoved open the door.

In the van driving away from the complex Tess glanced back at Michael who was staring out the window. "What happened?" She asked quietly.

"Maria is dead." He said simply.

"Are you sure?" Tess' voice rose in panic.

"She got shot, I watched her go down. She's dead."


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Three**

"Dead?" Tess' voice was unsteady.

"You guys okay?" Michael asked looking at Isabel and Max, both who looked pretty shaken up.

"She blamed us." Isabel whispered. "We never went after her... she was in there for all those months, and they did... bad things to her. And we all just moved on with our lives."

"That doesn't give her the right to turn us in." Max grumbled.

"Shut up Max!" Isabel screeched. "She's dead. Do you get that now!? She's actually dead this time! And guess what?! It is our fault! It's out fault for not doing anything! For not trying to save her! For leaving her in there with them. She's dead, and you're are to blame."

"She betrayed us, Isabel." Max said.

"We betrayed her first." Isabel whispered before turning away.

They drove for a long time in silence before Tess spoke up again. "Do we go back to Roswell? Or do... we leave? I mean... they know we're there now. What will stop them from coming after us?"

"We leave." Michael spoke up. "We go, pack your stuff, we're leaving tonight."

"Michael, this isn't your decision to make." Max snapped.

"You know what Maxwell. I've had enough of listening to you. Look where it got us? So shut the fuck up. We're leaving, and we're not listening to you anymore." The rest of the ride was silent. Michael dropped everyone off at their houses and drove back to his apartment. He was picking them all back up in an hour and they were all leaving. But first, he had some things to do.

He grabbed a duffel bag and started to pack some of his stuff quickly. He paused for a moment seeing something sticking out from under the pillow on his bed. He frowned and grabbed the envelope. He tore it open and he swore his heart stopped.

_Michael,_

_I know that you hate me right now, and if you're reading this, that means all went according to plan in the complex. I hope that you got Isabel and Max out alright. And I am probably dead now. I want you all to know how sorry I am for what I did. For helping the FBI. But you have to understand... they had me for months. And you never came. None of you ever came. They wanted to kill me, but I convinced them to let me live, and I would help them get to all of you. I had no actual intentions of doing so. I was just going to get out, and tell you, and you could all escape. But I got so angry. _

_I was always just the sidekick. I only found out because I threatened to tell Valenti that Max went up to Liz after she was shot. I am sorry for the pain and suffering I caused everyone, I never meant to hurt any of you. And when I told you I loved you Michael, I meant it. I do love you. More than anything. That is why I am doing this. I know that I won't live through this. But you will, and that is all that matters to me._

_Be Careful, and I love you_

_Maria DeLuca_

Michael stared at the note for a long time before stuffing it in his bag and leaving his apartment. He threw it in the back of the van and drove to the Valenti's house. He walked up and knocked on the door. Amy answered, and looked confused.

"I need to talk to you." He said.

"Michael?" Amy shook her head a little. "What is it?"

"Can I come in?" She nodded and stepped back to let him in. He followed her inside and glanced around the house. There was a picture of Maria sitting on top of the TV and he paused.

"I knew she was mad at me." Amy said softly. "Working, and... I was so busy. But, I didn't know she was that mad at me. I only wanted to help her."

"She wasn't mad at you." Michael told her. "She didn't run away."

"You've... you've seen her?" Amy's voice cracked.

"Yeah." Michael sighed. "She..." He took a breath. "I guess the best place to start is at the beginning. Last September. The shooting at the Crashdown. Liz was shot. Max healed her. Guess what? Aliens are real. Maria found out. The FBI wanted the aliens. She got caught in the middle. She didn't run away, she was taken by them. We thought she was dead. But she wasn't." He watched as Amy began to cry softly. "Max and Isabel were taken. Maria knew how to get in, and how to get them out. She saved us. She's the reason we're all still alive. And we... I am the reason she is dead."

"No!" Amy screamed. "Not my baby!"

"I'm sorry." Michael felt the emotions building up inside of him. Tears stung the backs of his eyes and he blinked quickly. "But she loved you. And she was the most... caring and giving person I ever met. I just thought... that you should know the truth. Your daughter never ran away. She loved you more than anything. And she saved us." Michael left quickly, unable to hold back his own tears any longer. As he walked out to the van his tears overflowed and rolled down his cheeks.

Amy was left inside the living room, on her knees, sobbing quietly.

An hour later the four were packed into the van, driving away from Roswell, New Mexico. Michael was stoic, Isabel had been crying. Max was angry, and Tess was just looking out the window. Michael drove all night, and then in the morning Tess took the wheel and continued. Sometime in the middle of that afternoon they arrived in Chicago.

The next few weeks were spent settling into an apartment together. They got a new car, and all went out looking for jobs. Michael easily found one as a security guard. Isabel had gotten a job at a day care. Tess was waiting tables, and Max had sunk into a very deep depression.

"Michael?" Tess said softly, it was the middle of the afternoon and he was passed out in bed. She was sitting on the edge of it, her knees pulled up against her chest. "Michael, wake up."

"Tess." He groaned quietly and yanked the pillow over his head.

"Wake up please, I want to talk to you." Over the last several weeks they had grown closer. They shared a bed, but that was pretty much were it stopped. Tess had nightmares sometimes about being captured, and Michael would hold her.

"Tess. I'm sleeping."

"No, you're not. Please." Michael sighed loudly and pulled the pillow off his head and sat up.

"What?"

"Do you really think she is dead?"

Michael groaned and smacked his head back against the headboard and ran his hands through his hair. "Yeah, Tess, I do. I watched it. She got shot in the chest. I watched her go down. There is no way that anyone could have survived that. Besides, they wouldn't want her anymore."

"Michael, the complex exploded."

"What?" Tess pointed to the TV that had been silent. Sure enough, flames completely engulfed the all too familiar building. Michael grabbed the remote and turned the volume up.

"Early this morning, there was a large explosion at this abandoned building, located outside of Gomez, Texas. Officials say there was no one inside the building at the time of the explosion, but yet to have a reason as to why the building exploded in the first place. The fire still is yet to be contained."

"Do you think...?'

"No." Michael shook his head. "Even if it was possible... how? How could she have done something like that? They were probably just..." Michael shook his head. There was no way she could still be alive.

"Are you sure?" Tess pushed.

"Tess!" Michael exploded. "Drop it!" She bowed her head and sighed. "She is dead. It's my fault. And she's dead." His voice came out softer. His own head was bowed now.

Tess looked over at him and chewed nervously on her lip. She closed her eyes for a second and then reached out and carefully touched his hand. "Michael." Her voice came out different. It wasn't her own.

Michael lifted his head and stared at her. He opened his mouth and then closed it. Maria was sitting before him. No. This was wrong, and he knew it. "Tess." His voice cracked.

"Shhh." She murmured. "It's me." She stroked his hair and he closed his eyes at the touch.

"Maria." He breathed. He pulled her against his chest and held onto her tightly. "Oh, baby." He murmured against her hair. "I'm sorry." He whispered.

"Shh, it's okay Michael. I'm okay."

"It's my fault." Michael told her." It's all my fault. I should... I should have done something. I shouldn't have let you take us in there. I shouldn't have let you go."

"It was my idea Michael, you know it was."

"I don't care." He told her and tightened his grip on her.

She sighed softly and gently cupped his face in her hands. "Michael, don't be mad at yourself." She reached down and touched his hand. Broken again. "Stop doing that." She murmured and leaned forward to kiss him softly. He kissed her back softly and then laid them down, his arms around her waist, his face buried in her hair.

They laid together in silence for a long time. "Tess?" Michael finally spoke.

"Yeah?" Her breath caught in her throat. Was he angry?

"Thanks." She moved her hand up to rest on top of his and nodded. "Do you think... that it would be safe to go back?" She asked softly.

"To Roswell?"

"Yeah...they're gone... could it be safe?"

"I don't know Tess." Michael sighed softly. "I really don't know."

Dylan Jackson stood beside the bed and gently stroking her hair back from her face. He was still pretty confused about what had happened. He'd heard screaming. And he saw Maria. Energy was pouring out of her. Pierce was dead. He knew she'd killed Topolsky. Suddenly rooms were exploding, one by one. The whole complex was soon engulfed in flames. He had been running late, and was just arriving. He found her laying near the door unconscious. Dylan didn't know what else to do, so he'd taken her with him back home, a small town, just outside of Roswell. Dexter, New Mexico. Several days had passed and she had woken up for mere moments only to slip unconscious again.

But he was afraid to take her to the hospital. He wasn't sure what to do. He'd always been so good at just taking orders. That was why he had joined the FBI.

A month passed before the Pod Squad decided that maybe it would be okay to go back to Roswell. Michael didn't want to go though. He didn't want to be reminded of Maria. Of all that had happened. Isabel had instantly gone to Alex, Max to Liz. Tess and Michael had just sort of looked at each other. Tess began looking for an apartment for the two of them. She knew they were together out of sheer loneliness. Michael kissed her forehead and left her at the Crashdown. He drove out to the Valenti's and stared at the house.

After a while the front door opened, and Kyle stood there, arms across his chest. A moment later Amy appeared beside him and gently pushed him aside. She walked outside and to the door. "Michael."

"Mrs. Valenti." He nodded a little.

"We had a funeral." She told him quietly. "She has a headstone now." Tears stung her eyes. "Don't be a stranger."

Jim Valenti appeared beside Amy and wrapped his arm around her back. "Back in town?" He asked, and Michael nodded faintly. "There hasn't been any signs of the FBI out here since..." He sighed. "I'll give you a heads up if I hear anything."

Michael opened his mouth, then closed it. "Thank you." He told him.

Jim nodded and ushered Amy back into the house. Michael watched them go before pulling away from the house and driving out to the Cemetery. He walked along the path searching for her. When he came upon her headstone it all came down on him again. She really was dead. He let out a heavy sigh and sunk down to his knees. "I'm so sorry Maria. I never should have let you go in there."

"You know it was my idea." Michael heard her voice in his ear.

"I should have known you'd only get yourself killed."

"I knew. I knew going in there. You know that I knew."

"I don't care." He growled and turned his head. He saw her standing beside him. Michael angrily clenched his eyes shut. "Damn it, Tess. Knock it off." He hissed out. He watched as she knelt down beside him. "Really not in the mood Tess."

"She looks like me often?" She asked tilting her head to the side.

"Maria?" Michael shook his head. "No, that isn't possible. I watched you die."

"You saw me get shot. You didn't stick around to watch me die." Maria said softly. "Pierce, he was worse than Topolsky. They patched me up... and tested some more."

"The complex exploded."

"I know." Maria nodded a little. "I did it."

"How?"

"All the tests they ran, and needles they poked me with... I'm not ... normal anymore. My DNA was altered, mutated. I have... powers."

"No." Michael shook his head. He couldn't believe it. He wouldn't. Not Maria. Not his Maria.

She reached out and rested her hand on the grass in front of her. She closed her eyes for a moment, concentrating, and then opened them again and watched as the grass began to die beneath her finger tips.

Michael watched in awe, as words slowly began to appear in the dead grass. 'I'm Sorry' He looked at her and watched as she rested her hand in her lap again and bowed her head. How was it possible? He grabbed her and crushed her against his chest. Desperate to feel her alive and in his arms. "You're alive." He breathed against her hair.

"I am."


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Four**

Maria felt like crying, but the emotions wouldn't surface. Michael was holding her so tightly, all she could feel was relief. His joy, and forgiveness. She thought her heart might explode. Her hands gripped his sides as his hands cupped her face and his lips came crashing down, and he kissed her passionately.

Hours later, she wasn't quite sure how they had ended up at Michael's apartment. But truthfully she didn't care either. All that mattered to her was that Michael was touching her. "I'm here." She whispered. "I'm here." While Michael's mouth left a damp trail over her neck and across her chest. Desperation had taken over the both of them. Taste, touch and smell is all that mattered to them.

Tess made her way into the apartment after her shift at the Crashdown ended. She was tired, and a bubble bath sounded really good. She headed inside and down to the bedroom she had shared with Michael for the last month. When she pushed open the door she was over powered with the scent of sex. She paused and just stared at the mass of limbs on the bed. Michael was holding someone against his chest protectively.

She tilted her head to the side a little, trying to see who it was, when she realized who, her jaw dropped. She saw Michael stir, and she just smiled a little. Tess gave him a little wave and closed the door. Maria was alive. Tess knew she was right. But as Tess closed the door she came to the realization that the home she had been building was no longer hers. She felt dejected.

Tess had known that she was just a filler for Maria with Michael. But Max was supposed to be her destiny and he never wanted her. She didn't belong. With a heavy sigh she snatched up her purse off the floor where she had dropped it and walked back out of the apartment. She didn't know where else to go, and soon ended back up at the Crashdown.

So she just sat there, waiting for what, she wasn't sure. But she didn't have any place else to go. So she was drowning her sorrows in a cup of coffee.

"Hey, Tess Harding right?" She looked up and saw Kyle Valenti standing beside her table.

"Oh! Hi, Kyle." She smiled a little. She'd hit on him before, when she'd very first arrived in Roswell, but nothing had ever come of it.

"Mind if I sit down?" He asked and Tess shook her head.

"No, go, go right ahead." She stuttered out and then blushed. She liked him, he was cute, and nice. She watched as Kyle slid into the booth across from her.

"So, you don't get enough of this place when you're working? You had to stick around after your shift?"

"No... actually I went home but..." She paused. Maria was technically his step sister now. Amy and the Sheriff knew what they were, did Kyle? "Maria is alive. I'm not sure how... or what happened, but she was there, with Michael when I got home, so I left."

"She's alive?" Kyle asked shocked, and then just sat there looking at Tess. Neither spoke for a long time. "You know," Kyle finally started. "This whole thing is really weird." Tess nodded. "The FBI was really after you?" He asked quietly, and she nodded again.

"They were... probably still are. But, Maria slowed them down."

"The explosion?"

"I think it was her. I was sure of it when I first heard. I'm not sure how, but, I think she did it."

"So, where are you going to stay now that Maria's back?"

"I'm not sure yet. That's sort of what I was trying to figure out."

"Well, if you don't figure out anything else, you can always stay at my place. I've got an extra room."

"Kyle, you barely know me, and you're offering to let me live with you?"

"Well, I liked you. When you first came to town, you were cute, and sweet."

"I was?"

"Still are." Kyle grinned. "And, since Evans is too blind to see it, and Michael is too busy with the just back from the dead Maria. You're welcome to stay with me."

Tess just stared at him for a moment, then bit her lip to try and hide her smile that was spreading quickly across her face. "Thank you." She told. "I appreciate that."

Maria woke up slowly, Michael's arms were securely wrapped around her middle. He wasn't letting her go anywhere. She was home again. Safe she thought, but for how long? Would the FBI come after them again, after Michael and the others? "I should go see my mom." She told him softly.

"Yeah." His arms loosened around her waist and then a moment later he pulled away from her and sat up.

Maria sat up as well and watched as he got up and headed for the bathroom. "What happens now Michael? I know you're still angry with me about... well everything. I don't blame you. You should be mad, I betrayed you all, because you made a decision, to protect yourselves and you had every right to do so. And I got that Tess lives here now, I'll go to my mom's."

"You know it was never my decision to leave you in there." Michael's voice rose in anger.

"I know that. I am just..." She scoffed. "Probably should have stayed. Ended it all in there."

"Don't." Michael snapped emerging from the bathroom again. "Don't you dare say that."

"It would have been better for everyone."

"I said don't!" He yelled. Maria looked up at him and got up and gathered her clothes. "Maria-" He cut himself off.

"Forget it Michael. You may have cared about me at one point. Regardless of what happened with me being in there. But I betrayed you." She pulled her clothes on and looked at him. "I"m going to go stay with my mom." She didn't give him the chance to say anything else before she promptly left. She walked down the sidewalk, towards her mother and the Sheriff's house. But when she got to the door she couldn't bring herself to knock. She just stood there. Her mom was inside, but Maria was so scared to see her again.

She wasn't sure how long she stood out there, just staring at the door. It opened slowly, her mother was looking down, digging around in her purse. She looked up and gasped. They stared at each other. Just stared. Maria's jaw trembled and a tear rolled down her cheek. "Maria?" Amy whispered softly. "Is it really you?" Slowly she reached out and touched her daughter's face. A sob tore from her lips when she realized she wasn't dreaming. "My baby." She pulled Maria into her arms and held her tightly.

"Mom." Maria cried and held on for dear life. She could hardly breathe. Some time later Amy pulled Maria back inside, and touched her face, her hair, trying to make sure she was real, that she was actually in her arms again. Alive.

"What happened. Michael said you were dead. But you're not, you're alive. Tell me what is going on Maria."

Maria sunk down onto the couch with her mother. "Michael told you everything... except that I betrayed them. I'd been in there so long... they wanted aliens, I agreed to give them Max, and Isabel. On the condition that they didn't touch Michael. Then they changed the deal. They wanted Michael, and I couldn't... he was the only one that cared. Everyone else just forgot I existed. They moved on. When they changed the deal I told Michael and Tess everything. We went in, and got Max and Isabel out. I was shot. Under normal circumstances I would have been dead, and that is why Michael left me in there. He thought I was dead. But I wasn't. They fixed me up, and decided to play with me some more."

"Play?"

"They ran all kinds of tests and such. They changed me. I am like them now... like Max and Isabel and Michael... I'm not... normal."

"No..." Amy whispered softly but then watched as Maria ran her finger tips along the edge of the coffee table. The wooden table went through a rainbow of colors before finally settling back on it's own natural color. "Oh my god." She whispered.

"I can't... stay with Michael. Can I come home? For a little while?"

"Of course Maria, of course you can." Amy pulled her daughter into her arms and held onto her as tightly as she could. "Of course." Maria relaxed in her mother's arms and sighed.

Tess pulled her hair up into a ponytail and chewed on her lip. She was staying with Kyle, and currently was in the bathroom, just changed into a pair of pajamas. She took a breath and walked back into the living room. Kyle was stretched out on the couch flipping through the channels. "Hi." She smiled a little shyly at him.

"Hey." He grinned. She blushed and sunk down in one of the plush chairs.

It was days before Maria left her mom's house. She'd talked with Jim, and her mom, but for the most part she hid in her room and slept. Her mom kept telling her she needed to get out of the house, to get some fresh air. See her friends again. But Maria couldn't bring herself to see any of them. She'd hurt them all. They would never forgive her. She knew they wouldn't. Because she couldn't.

Maria walked into the Crashdown and Liz was there, flirting with Max. "Liz." Maria said quietly.

"Maria!" Liz shrieked, and stared at her wide eyed, while Max slid out of the booth and stared at her.

"Maria."

"Max... look... I'm..."

"I don't want to hear it." He snapped at her.

"Okay." She whispered.

"Michael said you were dead."

"Disappointed?" Maria asked and pushed some hair behind her ear. "I was shot. Not killed. Saw the explosion? Got out."

"What are you doing here?" Max raised an eyebrow, Maria could see he was ready, just in case she decided to do anything.

"I came to see my friend." She shook her head. "I never should have come back. I knew that no one would ever forgive me." She backed away from them and then headed out the door. "Should have just died." Maria found herself at the quarry a short time later, sitting near the edge, staring down at the lakes below. She was trying to mess with her powers, to do anything. See what all she could do.

Maria heard Michael's bike pull up and sighed. "Leave." She told him at the sound of the gravel crunching under his shoes.

"No."

"I don't want to be around you. Please just... leave."

"No." He sat down beside her. "What are you doing?"

"Practicing."

"What can you do?" She shrugged. "Been staying at your mom's?"

"Yeah." She nodded. "Saw Liz and Max today."

"Bet that went well."

"I think they were disappointed I wasn't dead." Maria picked up a rock and flicked it over the ledge.

"That isn't true, you know it."

"Bullshit." Maria scoffed. "There is no forgiveness for me from them. I know that."

"They'll forgive you." He tried to tell her.

"You don't know that."

"I did."

"No you didn't. And I didn't turn you into the FBI."

"Why do you have to argue about every little thing Maria?"

"Yes." She looked up at him. "I'm leaving. I'm not sure where I'm going to go... but I'm leaving."

"Leaving? Why?"

"I can't stay here." Maria told him, and then felt his hand around her arm.

"I won't let you just leave." He pulled her towards him.

"You have to." She whispered.

"No." He kissed her hard and she melted into the kiss for a moment before pulling back.

"Stop doing that! Sex doesn't solve this! It doesn't solve anything!" Maria stood up and started walking away, but Michael grabbed her again.

"Stop trying to run away from me!"

"Stop trying to convince yourself that everything is okay!" Maria screamed at him. Tears started rolling down her face. "It isn't! I messed everything up! I was supposed to die! I'm supposed to be dead! Not here... not... trying to pick up the pieces of my fucked up life!"

"I love you." He pulled her close, holding her against his chest.

"How?! How could you love me? Someone like me?" She cried and collapsed against him. Slowly they slid down to the gravel again.

"There is no one else for me." He whispered against her ear and held her tightly, one hand in her hair, the other rubbing her back. After a while the tears stopped flowing and Maria sat up a little to look at him.

"I don't know what to do, Michael. I don't know... how to just be me again. I don't know if I can. My friends hate me. They want nothing to do with me. And I don't blame them. But I can't..." She looked down at her hands. "Tell me what I am supposed to do, Michael. Please. Help me."

He cupped her face and forced her to look at him. "I don't know Maria. I don't know how we are going to get through this, but we have to. Because, I can't handle loosing you again. I've lost you twice already. I can't go through that again. So whatever it is... whatever is going to happen..." He shrugged. "We'll figure it out."

"Michael, I love you. So much." She buried her face in his chest and sighed quietly.


End file.
